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Dec. 31st, 2014 @ 03:16 pm It's a funny old world.
This time, I had imported some bookmarks from Firefox to Chrome, and it reminded me that I'd stored all my passwords for this site. I wanted to check it out.

I can't bear to read this thing, I got through two posts and was internally cringing at how emotional, raw, and vulnerable I used be in such a public place. WOW. I'm not saying that I was mistaken, or wrong to use this thing, it's a unique part of my generation, the years where a blog like this was the best way to get through to people.

As for me, I gave up journalism. It's too hard, the industry is falling apart, and I didn't get into the UW program. Now I'm studying computer networking at Seattle Central. I start my third quarter in little less than a week. I have a puppy, his name is Bonk, and I have a really nice house in Columbia City. I also have a Liv, and Bliz, but they aren't that new. I think I had them the last time I posted here.

Yeah, so. that's about it.

I'll see you next time!

jm
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Sep. 26th, 2013 @ 05:15 am
Well hello there Lj,


It's been a hot second since I laid eyes on you. Actually I'm kinda glad I came across you, (on a random middle of the night google myself binge.) I'd actually completely forgotten that you were still a thing.


In the two years since I updated you, virtually every part of my life has changed. The last substantial post I put in this journal was on my 29th birthday when I was still sorting out who I wanted to be, and working on overcoming the obstacles from my late teens and early twenties.

Oddly, in that post I mentioned that I couldn't fathom how my younger self had gotten through it. Well, now I look at any part of my life before I turned 30 and wonder, not only how I got through it with the minimum of serious damage, but how I actually survived my early twenties. Seriously. I had no concept about how the world worked, had been dealt some seriously bad cards, and well... was pretty fucking emotionally damaged.


Now, I'm working in a high end corporate restaurant as a bartender and waiter, I'm going to finish my AA degree next march (with a 3.6 gpa) and intend to continue studying journalism and communications at a state school from there. (UW, SU, WWU are my top 3 choices in Washington. University of Missouri, NYU, and Berkeley are my top 3 outside of Washington. Someone will accept me, I'm sure of it.)

I'm with a different girl than the one in the previous post. The current girl is head and shoulders above my typical choice of girlfriend.I hope it works out. She's a sweetheart. It's only been a few months but I haven't lost my shit, gone crazy insecure, been cheated on, lied to, gotten bored, or entered the long spiral of hatred and misery that typically characterizes my relationships. So, that's promising. We're still in the bunny-bunny phase, and I'm getting pretty attached. I hope it works out, and I honestly don't see any reason why it wouldn't.

If I have my druthers, I'll be with her for a while yet.

It's late lj, I have a paper to write tomorrow, so I'm gonna leave you now. It's been nice catching up. I might come back and visit you again soon.

jm
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Jizammin
Sep. 22nd, 2011 @ 03:36 am
Sorry Lj. It looks like you lost the battle. I wonder how long you'll stick around? *shrug* I'm gonna get an auto-archive bot and get all my entries, then I'm gonna wipe down the bar, put up the chairs, and turn out the lights.


sorry, but it looks like you were the one worth leaving.


jm
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Jun. 16th, 2011 @ 03:09 am Ruminations on age and experience.
I know that I'm young, still cooking and not fully grown into myself.

I'm still battling the same demons. Some of their faces have changed, and I approach them with vinegar and spitting bile, but those fuckers are still there. I recently started seeing a new therapist, it's time for me to find the solace I've been looking for, but didn't think I deserved. I'm on the right track, in the middle of the longest journey I've ever taken and about to start scaling the BIG mountains.

I have a lot more experience. I understand myself, my triggers, fears, problems, and I'm beginning to see the difference between a real problem, and one I created out of fear. I can see a faint line between my feelings and my damage. I'm gonna turn that line into a fucking gulf. It takes a lot more to get under my skin, and even when I hit critical mass its not nearly as destructive as it used to be. I'm proud of that. I've worked hard. I've worked hard for years to get to where I am now, and I'm far beyond the point of no return.

I can't fathom how younger me got through the things that happened to him, and I applaud him for his diligence and perseverance. He went through shit I wouldn't put anybody else through, and most of the time he didn't even realize that any of it was out of the ordinary it was. It's astounding.

You may be happy to hear, but I don't really drink anymore. It's been a year since I drank regularly, and I don't miss it. I was pretty fucking surprised to wake up hungover one day and decide that I was done taking three hours and fifty bucks out of my life to spend the next day nursing my wounds. And doing it three times a week.

I'm happy with my life, and I don't miss the years of rampant insanity, and general chaos that I used to embody. Yeah, I still cut loose now and again, but I don't have the drive for it. The fire that used to push me to, stay out all night every night, accost strangers in the street with nonsense, and god only knows what else has been gratefully tamped down.

I don't feel like much of a social person anymore. I don't get the same thrill I used to. I prefer the quiet gatherings, long talks, and moonlit nights on my balcony with the woman I love, to large groups and shenanigans. Hell, I'd rather stay in, take a bath and watch TV than go out, unless its something interesting.

The biggest difference is in forward thinking. I'm planning out the next few years of my life, when before I could barely plan the next day. I have long reaching goals, and I know exactly how I'm gonna achieve them, roughly how much time it will take, and what I have to do before that. That may not seem like much, but it's huge. I'm stable enough to plan things that are six months away, knowing that I'll do it and that it won't be much of a stretch to get there. It's a trip.

My philosophy remains unchanged, refined perhaps, but unchanged. Live for your community. Live to enrich your experiences, happiness, and love. Don't hurt people needlessly. Read for pleasure. Learn. Feel your highest highs and lowest lows. Write. Fight for the things you believe in. Fight until you're bleeding. Never back down when it's important, and never fight when you don't have to.

With this in mind, I enter the last year of my twenties, hopeful.

jm
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Jan. 6th, 2011 @ 04:26 am Putting Away Childish Things.
I really should be trying to get to sleep, but I'm in a really good mood, and I wanted to post something. I mean, I don't do much writing anymore, and that's disappointing, especially because it was my single life goal for a long time. For the most part, I usually use this thing to mark milestones, or to chart my life's progress (so later when I look back on my posts I can see where I was at during a given period of my life.)

I used to post here all the time, and as the years have gone by and I've become more healthy and stable I felt the need to post here less and less and less.

Its funny, really. The things you learn given time. I'd say its wisdom, but I don't think I'm old enough to have much of that yet. Instead, I'll say its a stunning array of coincidences, serendipity, and the occasional good decision. But for the last six months, my life has just gotten better, and better, and better.

I can't remember a time when I've felt so centered, and stable, and sane. It's been a long time coming, and I've had to crawl through shit (sometimes literally) to get here, but, slowly over the last three years I've eliminated much of the chaos, and bad influence, from my life, and realized a lot of the potential that everyone has always told me I have.

At this moment, I live in a penthouse apartment in the central district of Seattle. I have an amazing group of people in my life. My roommates are two people that I am proud to live with (especially because they both swore never to live with me again. ;) ), I consider both of 'em family, and though I'm sure they don't want their names here, it's totally Mikey and Lindsay.


I have two jobs, and though one of them causes me no end of stress, I appreciate them both. They have their ups and downs, but they keep me interested, and I make better money than I've ever made before. (Even Selling Cars)

Jai Thai has morphed into a place that I love. I slogged through the mess only to have the place blossom under my steady hand. (It's funny, I don't wanna toot my own horn or seem arrogant, but I was the driving force behind the change, and though I did have a lot of help, I made sure they changes took, and my programs are mostly successful and the bar is making significantly more money than it did before I took over.)

The Buddha Bar is a shitshow. I'm not kidding when I say this. the place needs a lot of help, and to be completely honest, I don't know if I'm the right guy for the job. But I'm doing the best I can to stabilize the place and instilling new programs that will, hopefully, improve the place. Time will tell, and I just need to have the patience to understand how to guide it, my staff, to the best of my capabilities.

I also have an amazing woman in my life. We've been friends for years, and just a couple of months ago we moved out of friendship into something else. (something I really like.) It's hard for me to talk about it, I've spent too many years ranting about the roller coaster of my relationships in this space to ever be comfortable with it again.

Let's just say, that she fills all my requirements. She's smart, beautiful, literate, funny, and ridiculous. We share many things in common, but have an equal number of separate interests. We're both very adventurous, and like to spend quality time with the other. She's affectionate, and is unabashed about showing it. We have great chemistry, comedic timing, and my friends all like her. She's got a short skirt and a long jacket. Most importantly, our values are in line. We have the same ideas about relationships and we both have the experience to know how to conduct ourselves. She's considerate, playful, and sees the fnords. I really like her, as a person, and as a partner, and I hope this blossoms into something deeply meaningful.

I am grateful to have had the experiences I've had. (even the horrible ones, or the over the top histrionic, drama induced emotionally broken ones.) I've learned so much, about how to be a good, loyal, caring person, and I've stripped the pretense, the affectation, and bitterness out of my personality. I've never felt like such a strong person, and I'm, finally, in a position to give back all the good cheer and love that I've received over these difficult years.

So thank you. Thank you for being my friends, my surrogate family. For nursing me through the hard times, and now we can exult in the joy that is our present and future. Of course we expect difficulties, obstacles, problems, but we're not children anymore. We have grown into ourselves, learned the hardest lessons, and for the first time, we can handle it.

jm
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Jan. 1st, 2011 @ 05:49 am
I don't think I've mentioned this to you yet, but I suddenly have a girlfriend. huh. who figured?
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Dec. 21st, 2010 @ 01:36 pm
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Oct. 28th, 2010 @ 04:26 am
Twenty minutes ago it was all I could do to keep myself awake on the couch, now that I'm in bed I'm wide awake. gotta love the irony.

I don't really post much anymore. When I do its rarely an update. (I think the last one was in April, but I can't for the life of me remember. I only keep this thing so friends who are far away can continue to keep tabs on me, and I them.)

After a series of calamities, I got promoted to Lead Bartender at Jai Thai. That went rather well, and i was able to undo the crappy work of my former bosses. I then revolutionized how our entertainment was done, and the bar hasn't been too much the same since. (which is to say, that I now have money nights.) In fact Jai Thai went so well, that I got headhunted. I'm now the Bar Manager of a place called Buddha Thai in Belltown. I'm still at Jai Thai, but I'm going to step out of my leadership role there because, well Buddha is my primary responsibility. I have keys, a staff who are counting on me, and I'm the one who has to make all the hard calls. Jai Thai has someone else who already does that, and he sits in the bar every night, gets free drinks and doesn't need me to stink the place up anymore. (I taught him quite a bit about how to properly be stinky!)

I'm moving in a couple weeks out of Northgate (thank, fucking god. the commute is a killer) to really nice Penthouse Apartment on 23rd and Denny. I'll be rooming with Mikey, and Lindsay who are, when you get down to it, my two favorite people. It's a twenty minute walk to one bar, and a twenty minute bus ride to the other. It means that I don't immediately have to get a car. (which is a prospect that I've been facing for the last three months)

I decided that this year is the year I buy a car, start actually saving money, and finally get organized. I'm guessing that by the end of the year I'm gonna have about $2500 to spend, so I'm gonna go for what I want instead of what I can get for $500. I'm looking for a 1994-1997 Honda Accord EX and I've found several on CL at different times in my range. Now all I gotta do is assemble the cash. it'll be a bit of pish!

Whining about girlsCollapse )

ok, I think I'm spent. it's 430 and i gotta be up in a little more than 8 hours, I should pull out the book and start heading to sleep.
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Oct. 1st, 2010 @ 07:48 am
"May you live as long as you wish, and love as long as you live." -RAH
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Sep. 21st, 2010 @ 04:37 am Setting Notes:
I do this sometimes. Spend three hours working out a setting I wanna play with. take a look:

From the Wikipedia:

The Fall City Earthquake occurred at roughly 6:37PM on Wednesday May 8th, 2019. The earthquake registered a 6.9 moment magnitude and was centered about 26 miles East of Seattle and rocked the city for 71 seconds, almost twice the duration of the 1994 Northridge Earthquake, causing 94 deaths, over 10,000 injuries and roughly 90 billion dollars worth of damage, including much of the Historical Pioneer Square neighborhood of Seattle.


Also from the Wikipedia:

The Obscene Knickers Public House on Alaskan Way, has gone through many permutations since it opened as the OK Hotel in 1917. It was most recognizable as an integral part of the Seattle Grunge Movement of the early 1990s when the building was a rock venue and performance space, hosting many well known local, and touring bands during its 15 year life span. It was damaged in the 2001 Nisqually earthquake, and remodeled into artist lofts and gallery space. After the disastrous Fall City Earthquake in 2019, the OK was condemned along with most of Pioneer Square and sustained massive damage from the collapse of the Alaskan Way Viaduct.
Developers moved in and saved most of the Historical District, but the OK was left abandoned for several years, where squatters and artists lived until a fire in 2026, after which it was scheduled to be demolished to make way for new waterfront Condominiums.
However, a public outcry arose when the locals realized that the landmark was going to be destroyed, and they successfully lobbied to have the building put on the local registry of Historical Landmarks. The City required the building to be completely remodeled, including the upper three floors which were seriously damaged by the quake in '19. The building was auctioned off to Smitty Smith, a local musician who established the Obscene Knickers Pub after the renovations were complete. He opened it as a bar/performance space designed to appeal to those who had helped save the building.


From the Seattle Stranger Thursday February 15th 2024:

Down With Pioneer Square!

There has been a lot of support for Mayor Decker's plan to renovate Pioneer Square. We at the Stranger wonder why. For the last 5 years it has sat there, slowly sinking into the sound, while the City Council have argued about what to do with the useless, and extremely desirable space. It's become a veritable plague ward of homeless and drug abusers, which, though not much of a change to appearances, is much, much worse than it was 10 years ago back when normal people actually went there. The cries of “Save the Pergola!” were heard three years ago when it was repaired and rebuilt in Volunteer Park on Capitol Hill. The only remaining asset to Seattle is Doc Maynard's Bar, which has become the entrance to the remaining underground hovels that most of the denizens of the neighborhood live. The same Bums and Drug addled bastards who roam the streets of Downtown and Capitol Hill causing no end of trouble. For instance, I was standing outside of the Grill on Broadway last week when I was strong-armed by three men wearing red arm-bands, which as we all know are only worn by the Merchants Bazaar Irregulars, the idiots who live in the Square and think they are running an abandoned city. (That in itself is the stupidest thing we've ever heard, and if you wanna learn more see our article: “Steampunk is Dead. GTFO” From the October 19th 2023 edition of the Stranger, available Here)
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